Love Hunger and Healing
Stayed on You
Sometimes the Lord sends me a message through a song, then through scripture, then repeats it in a life experience, and so on until it dawns on me, “Maybe you are trying to tell me something?” 🤔
The song was “Stayed on You” (by Eben) while listening to some praise and worship music during personal prayer time. The refrain was:
“I will keep my mind stayed on you
All I want to do is to worship you
For you are great and greatly to be praised
You alone are God...”
The refrain “stayed” with me for days. For the past several nights since recovering from the more acute symptoms of this insipid virus, I have been experiencing insomnia. Not a usual thing for me. It’s been pretty intense too. My brain is wired sometimes with anxious thoughts, or just thinking through my day ahead, and it can’t seem to shut down. I mean, until 2:30 or 3 a.m. No matter what aids and methods to prepare myself for sleep. No matter. So I researched it.
Apparently it’s a common after-affect. The virus affects people neurologically somehow in addition to other commonly known symptoms and many people have experienced acute insomnia even after seemingly getting over it.
So last night, rather than allow my anxiety to build and build, no end in sight, I thought of that song. And I remembered a priest that greatly influenced my spiritual life before he passed away, teaching us (fellow disciples) a method of praying, repeating the name of Jesus in a simple phrase over and over such as “Jesus I trust in you.” Or the one he had learned based on what God had done in his life was “My Jesus I trust in your mercy and love.” He had developed such a habit, that he was saying it out loud in his sleep, like breathing it in and out. And I thought “this is one simple way, to keep my mind “stayed on you.” And I began praying “My Jesus I love you I give you my heart.” Because it is what came to me when he taught us this method, over and over. Gradually, peace came to my mind. I probably prayed this way for over an hour. And eventually, I was asleep.
Then today I thought, I bet there’s a scripture about “keeping my mind stayed on you” and there it was, in Isaiah.
Isaiah 26:3 “You keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”
“Because he trusts in you” I thought to myself. And today the Bible in a Year podcast I am following with Fr. Mike Schmitz from Ascension Press, was about Abraham trusting the Lord, and Job, trusting the Lord. Especially, when it’s really hard to.
Being at peace is really simple. It’s shutting out the noise around us, no matter how intense, and keeping our mind stayed on Him. Because He’s trustworthy.
Face Down
I noticed this wiseman toppled over a few days ago and chuckled to myself thinking “that’s about how I’m rolling into 2021, falling into it.” But then I looked at it again later and saw it differently. He’s on his face. In complete surrender and adoration to his king. And he’s the only one! I left him that way. Here’s hoping all of us can surrender everything to Him this year, seeking Him like the Magi, adoring Him, and trusting Him completely, no matter what anyone else is doing around us. Happy feast of the Epiphany! ✨
Our Life Goal
When God is speaking to you, are you listening?
A few days ago I was listening to Nigerian worship music (a favorite music genre), during some quiet, personal praise and worship time. A song came on (Idinma by Eben, a Nigerian gospel musician) I was unfamiliar with it, but as it played, it brought me to tears and I was overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit. I texted a Nigerian priest, a close friend of mine (I often ask him the meaning of words I don’t know). I said “Father! Is this Igbo? What do these words mean?! ‘Chineke Idinma’ This song has brought me to tears and I don’t even know why!”
He replied “It is Igbo and it means, God you are good. God the Creator you’re awesome!”
So beautiful!
Soon after I was scrolling Instagram, and this picture shows up. posted from @reformedbychrist , Notice a theme yet?
Then I went to practice the psalm response for Sunday as I was cantoring, and guess what it was?
“Forever I will sing the goodness of the Lord.”
(Psalm 89)
At the same time, within our household, a crisis had occurred. My oldest daughter who is a senior and a very devoted student, has a job as well. She works just about every day and has been saving up for a car. Her paycheck of hard earned money, got misplaced, and after having looked everywhere, she had despaired of finding it. As I sat in her room trying to comfort her, I heard the Lord say in my heart, “tell her it will be found, and that she only need ask me.”
So I told her, and we both went to bed.
In the morning, she said “Mom, do you think I should go back to work and look again?”
I said “YES.”
She returned with a big smile on her face, and, you guessed it, found the check.
If you don’t think God is real. If you don’t think He can speak to you. You may just not be paying attention. He will speak to you through experiences, people, even while scrolling on your phone. He is not bound by anything.
Clearly He wanted to communicate to me this weekend, His goodness. What is He trying to say to you?