Hi beautiful people. This, is the not so beautiful part of me I choose not to share often. But today, I am. The reason I choose to share, is to let you know you’re not alone. That it’s ok to ask for and accept help. It’s ok to be frustrated and even mad at God when things don’t go like you had hoped. As long as you can reach a point eventually where you say I’m still mad, but I’m going to surrender anyway, and try to ask for the faith to trust you, every day.
When my immune system is “cascading out of control” as one doctor put it years ago, I get back to back staph infections on my face. It’s relentless. I also become hypersensitive and very allergic, to literally everything. But a typical allergy test would not show it. The reactions are so bad and frequent sometimes keeping me up at night, they sometimes just do me in for the day. I have spent the last 11 years going to different doctors and health specialists, and doing a ton of research on my own. To summarize, I will say that I am certain that skin issues and allergies at least are all connected to your gut health. I have read that many other issues are also connected such as mental health, heart, hormonal. But I cannot speak from experience for most of those. If you have a healthy gut you will have a healthy immune system. If you don’t however, anything can destroy your immune system and take up residence. That shouldn’t be there. I have unfortunately learned from multiple experiences that antibiotics, steroids, and many traditional medicines, are great for quick fixes but will destroy your gut health and therefore your immune system in the long run, especially if your immune system is already weak.
But honestly, this post is not about all of that. This post is about being OK with needing help and being weak. You see, I am a pretty independent person. My husband’s biggest bone to pick with me is probably that I don’t ask for help enough. For the third time in this health journey, God has placed me in a position where I need help to get better. Because the only doctor or person that has been able to truly help me in the past 10 yrs. is so “unconventional” that none of the treatments are covered by insurance. And it takes a long time to make a difference. My conversation with God goes something like this.
Me: You could heal me. If you wanted to. I know you can. Then you would be glorified. Yes? Why do you make me dependent on others? Do we really have to do this again?
God: (shows me an image of Simon helping Jesus carry His cross)
“You must let others help you carry this cross. If you don’t, you could be depriving them of a chance to do good. To grow in holiness. It also takes humility to accept help. Follow my example. I was God, and I accepted it.”
Me:
God:
Me: Ok. But I still like my plan better. Miraculous healings have that wow factor. 🤷🏻♀️
I talk a lot about sharing the gospel, shining your light, being who God has called you to be. And those things will all help you on the path to holiness in Christ. But maybe a less talked about path, is admitting you can’t do something on your own, asking for help, and accepting it. Maybe it’s with God. Maybe it’s also people God has placed in your life.
And after someone has helped you, it will eventually be your turn to be a “Simon” and you will remember how it feels to receive a helping hand and embrace the role eagerly.
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